I wish I had something to write about. Aside from the huge term paper I finally finished last week, I've been going through a usual "cooling" phase for the past couple of months, after thinking about Eric constantly for a year. Definitely should have started this blog months earlier instead of just wondering if I should the whole time. But the never ending fantasies always come back. I seriously wonder if I have some kind of mental issue, or I'm just a little weird...
I wonder if any people who have a similar obsession ever feel annoyed by it. Like it's pointless and you wish it would go away. I would have loved to know Eric back then because he seemed so perfect for me. :( Just like he did for so many other girls (and guys). I think it's shitty that I'll never meet anyone who's just like him, but I can't do anything to change that. So the times that I obsess make me depressed or irritated at times. I gotta admit though, some of my fantasies are nice when I get a little lost in them. ^_^
I'm gonna keep this blog around, even if I don't happen to say much. Just because.
Hi Jade
ReplyDeleteFirstly, I would tell you that English isn't my maternal language, I'm learning, so, pardon for the lack of coherence, I'm able to build norbmal sentences in French. :)
I tried to do not nonsense, and then I've been obliged to put a comment in your blog.
Your are not alone, I guess that seeing that another people from another side of the world can really be interested by Columbine Shooting and above all, Eric Harris's behaviour, and personnality will makes you smile.
It's so strange, you know, it also shows me America as a huge and astonishing country, and, nostalgia takes control on me because I was only two years old what it was happening.
I understand you.
Xxx
Sorry for the mistakes > when* and other
ReplyDeleteYou can erase my comments.
:)
Your English is pretty good actually. I took Spanish in middle school, high school, and college...got good grades, but I've forgotten pretty much everything lol...
ReplyDeleteIt always makes me feel better to hear from other people and to know that I'm not alone. Some people thing it's nuts and pointless, but morbid fascinations are more common than some people think.
Jade,
ReplyDeletei think i have a similar "problem".
i dont have an obession with Eric or Dylan.
but i have an obsession with the whole thing.
the youth subculture, thier personalities, bullying everything!
i dont know why, or how i can get rid of it. but it is fun researching it all. not saying that think what happend was cool at all.
there is just something about the 90's that intrgues me. especially normal towns like Littleton, CO.
just wondering what do you think of this?
do many people have this?
are we the same ?
do you think it is a wierd thing?
anyway, i guess the point of this message was to let you know that you arent alone. im from Australia, there is no connection at all! i just am obsesed with this columbine shit.
what is your opinon?
also do you know if either Eric or Dylan smoked weed?
I know I've read several things in the past stating that Eric smoked pot. I'm not sure about Dylan though but I wouldn't be surprised if they both did. They were drug free when they died though.
ReplyDeleteI see a lot of "fans" or whatever on places like youtube, but I've never met any in real life. It's something I bring up to very few people, just to avoid all the questions or them thinking I'm nuts, lol.
Oh, and I love the 90s too. ^_^ Anything 90s, especially the music and how nice it was before technology took over every aspect of our lives. :-\
Oh, and I personally don't think the deep interest in Columbine is weird. But it bothers me sometimes when others think so, so I mainly keep it to myself unless it's on-line. Where weirdos are roaming everywhere.
ReplyDeleteHi All,
ReplyDeleteI was relieved to find this blog and read all the comments, good to know that I am not alone...
I was kind of their age when all this happened (was born in 82) and have been interested in Columbine ever since (I live in Europe).
Obsession is probably the right word for me too, for some reason I am fascinated with the story and cant stop researching. At first I was more interested in the days events, the victims and the aftermath, but when I finished Dave Cullen's book I found myself starting to read it again but only the sections referring to Eric and Dylan and then looking up everything and reading every single word related to them on the internet.
I hope the blog will get updated and we weirdos can share our strange feelings:]
Oh and I love the 90s too!
Hello,
ReplyDeleteFirst of all Thank God I am not the only one with an obsession. I thought I was some sort of sick psychopath to have an obsession like this, when ever I'm on the internet all i keep finding myself doing is searching about Eric Harris its like I find comfort in searching about him because I will never get to meet him when I would have really liked to, I wish that I had.
Thanks for starting this blog!
Lucy, UK.
http://www.rebgirl.webs.com/
ReplyDeleteI used to think I was one of the few that had an obsession too, Lucy. It took youtube pretty much for me to see how many "fans" there really are. The only thing is, it's hard to think of interesting stuff to post on here. :-\ But every now and then I come up with a good topic or a "what if". Hopefully I get inspired soon...and cool blog btw. How nice it would be to be 17 again... :-\
ReplyDeleteHello ! I come back. :) I'm surprised to see that other people had posted here after me ! It's pretty cool !
ReplyDeleteI was confused, I will be 17 in January, so I was 4 when it happened. - OK ! I learn Spanish, and I went to Spain in April, but it's less important than English :D
Last year, we have studied Columbine Shooting in English class (fuck yeah interesting program :D) Even if I've already been interested in criminals, I felt something different toward them. I continue to wondering, without contempt, if one day I could cross such a limit, and I wonder what differentiates them of me by becoming enable to kill. But I believe I feel a kind of tenderness toward them because of their age and their way of life (place, epoc). Of course it's not nuts, I love it. I another world I could have been in love with one of them, and, as you said, prevent them from doing that. Yet, it's quite idyllic.:)
I'm also curious, I would very see which are the video they made before the rampage..
...Well, you might already know how I feel.
Nevertheless, it may be relative, I don't know if I would so much be intrigued in 20 years. :)
> Do you know that a Cold Case is inspired by CS ? (It's my favorite TV show.) It's called : Rampage. http://www.coldcase.fr/home.php?page=s4ep01
I hope that you could understand my strange English XD
Happy New Year
I think about them, not only about Eric, everyday. I'm obsessed with them. It's kind of pointless if you think about it... I keep thinking about the past, reflexing about them and wondering how they would be like today if they hadn't gone NBK. I wish they hadn't done that. It makes me feel infinitely sad knowing that they both hated themselves so much to the point of wanting to kill themselves along with other people. I wish they were here SO much. I never knew them but I feel as though I do.
ReplyDeleteI wish this obsession would just go away :( I don't feel it's making me any good thinking about them day & night, missing them and crying for them... ugh.
Like you, I'm also an atheist. It would SUCK if we die and then nothing else happens... When I die, I hope to meet them. But maybe that's not likely to happen :(
I wish my obsession would go away too. It's kind of embarrassing to admit as a 26-year-old that I imagine Eric in the car with me anytime I'm driving somewhere alone. Or my daydreams of performing in some kick-ass band and him seeing me and being in awe lol. The main one is picturing what could have changed their minds. Eric once said in his journal that if he could just get laid, things might be different. I wonder how serious he really was? I remember my way of thinking in high school, how dramatic it was. It's a shitty age where everyday problems are magnified and can be really overwhelming at times. I didn't get kissed until I was almost 17, and until that point, I was super terrified and depressed, thinking I'd die a virgin, have to settle for someone I didn't want, or maybe I was secretly a lesbian. Poor guys just had to wait it out a little longer, and the girls would have started paying attention.
ReplyDeleteI love Eric (L)
ReplyDeletethank god i love dylan i dont know why what they did was wrong but i feel sad i was bullied like they and wanted to die but didnt have the guts to i cryed everyday after watching them shoot themselfs i love them both im sorry to the parents of all them children but i feel deeply sorry for them
ReplyDeleteyour all sick they were killers !!!!!!!
ReplyDeleteif you were in that school they would of called you names and made you feel low just before they shot you in the face.
i do feel a bit sorry for them but they would of shot you and laughted about it after,
Hi fellow columbiners! At least we are not alone.i am completely obsessed and in love with Eric and Dylan.it makes me feel better knowing that there are like minded folk out there! I'm from Scotland I was 10 yrs old when the massacre at columbine happened I remember it's also a great escapism to think about it and the thought of leaving a lasting impression on this planet!
ReplyDeleteYou're not alone. I know the truth behind their ideology. Email me to join me: weareallgod42099@yahoo.com
ReplyDeletebitch u crazy
ReplyDelete